In Another Life
by dinabar
Summary: A follow up story from Season 10 A Body of Work. A blast from the past, Leo's still alive, Harry's not left, Nikki's still relatively new at the Lyell. Maybe in 'Another Life' it could all have been so different?
1. Chapter 1

**I've been watching all the really old SW's on Drama and couldn't let this one go by without a bit of FF. So dear readers cast your minds back… back in time before Leo died and Harry left, before Hungary and Shadows, even before the time they go to that airshow and imagine the Harry and Nikki back then, two years in. Nikki's asked Harry when he last had sex in the back of his car, he knows about her previous dodgy choice in men and her father, they've shared the "You're being liked," conversation and held hands but not much else until Leo sends them both off to a pathology conference where they skip the lecture on "Learning to Love the Liver," and find a pub instead. Watch the SW highlights for season 10 and you'll be right up to speed.**

**All characters and situations you recognise belong to the BBC following on from Body of Work.**

**For Tigpop who blames Penny for everything and because she knows what she has to do now…..**

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**In Another Life by Dinabar**

**Chapter One**

**Attention To Detail**

Nikki had felt it once before, she'd been a teenager then. Her ears had popped and suddenly there dangling from the cabin's ceiling panel was a yellow oxygen mask. She'd looked in confusion to her right to where her father was sitting, he was already placing his mask over his face, he tipped his head towards hers and she followed his lead. As she was tightening the straps to fit her small face she heard him pull back his mask and say,

"Well Niks, neither of us will fancy going back now. Not after this flight."

That was when the plane had dropped 10,000 feet in seconds and it had taken her a decade before she was ready to stomach the flight back to South Africa. She'd never forgotten that sense of panic, the sick realisation that nothing would be the same again and the eerie silence of the masked passengers.

It wasn't possible for a small observation room in a London police station to depressurise or drop 10,000 feet but the physiological impact seemed identical. She was breathing but the oxygen just didn't seem to be getting to her brain, she felt sick, numb at the finger tips. She didn't believe what she was hearing but one look at her silent co-worker standing to her right, staring through the glass at Max Wheaton confirmed it. This time there would be no oxygen mask to save her, the seconds were ticking. She wasn't a child anymore; it wasn't her father in the seat next to her either; it was Harry and instead of helping her, he was the cause of her terror. Somehow it was as if he had made the pressure drop, sucking all the available air into himself.

Something would implode or explode; it was a fundamental scientific law. Newton's third law of motion discovered centuries ago and acted out before her. An equal and opposite reaction to the confessions of that step-father sat calmly, behind the desk just metres away with a sly smile playing at his lips and the silent rage of her colleague.

She sucked in another breath, desperate to relieve the hypoxia, watched her colleague move; not much, just a flex of his fingers against the glass. She knew he'd heard. In silence Harry Cunningham stared at his rival. Nikki waited; she bit down on her fingers, touched her hair, anything to distract herself from the impending crash.

It came as suddenly as the altitude drop on that plane so many years ago, his hand hit the window, his fist punched the door and then he gave a desperate guttural cry,

Harry collapsed the remaining six feet to the floor and with a sob curled himself into the smallest shape possible for a man of his size with the knowledge that nothing would be the same again.

Descending to a safer altitude was the only strategy for cabin depressurisation and Nikki did the only thing she could; she got down on the floor with him, cradled his arm and told him it wasn't his fault. Despite his behaviour this week she couldn't stand by and watch this emotional collapse and do nothing.

And his behaviour had been terrible, personally and professionally. The only reason she could see that Leo hadn't disciplined him was because Harry hadn't spent long enough at the Lyell for their paths to coincide.

Had her behaviour been better? She wished she could pretend that she hadn't enjoyed telling Harry of her theory that Simon was the son and not the lover, and then later of his death but there was something this week that made the sense of Schadenfreude wholly satisfying.

She'd enjoyed the triumphant feeling that it was her results, her attention to the detail of the actual evidence not Harry's knee jerk reactions and suppositions that had solved this case. But to see him like this. He had always been the dominant one, in the two years she had known him; he had always been the one in control, the one doing what he always said he would do; the one in charge. There was nothing she could say, no words that would help so instead she kept quiet and laid her head on his shoulder; tried to breathe deeply and remembered the dread silence of that juddering plane journey from another lifetime ago.

"You're so good always. Why are men….?" Harry broke off and looked her in the eye humbly for the first time in days.

"Women have been known to commit the odd sin," she'd muttered; the equal and opposite reaction still playing on her mind.

"I've got to go," he'd said suddenly and there she was; alone, on the floor and having orders barked at her again.

"Where are you going?" The words hung meaninglessly in the air between them. She knew she'd get no answer.

"Test everything you can think of at the Wheaton's house for Dosulepen!"

'Bastard!' she thought he might just as well have asked her for a hockey stick and ball. This still wasn't over.

"Bastard!" she shouted at the sound of his retreating footsteps.

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**I was having angst withdrawal, hope there are still some angst lovers out there... pop by and say Hi.**


	2. Monogamous Commitment

**Thanks for reading, the drabble continues, honestly they do speak eventually... and of course you all know what scene is coming up soon.**

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**Chapter Two**

**A Monogamous Commitment to the Profession**

She wasn't going to jump through his hoops anymore. They'd got past that this week. She stayed where she was on the floor. Ambrose would no doubt come back and check on her but for the moment she was alone and grateful for the freedom to breathe freely now that Harry had gone.

"A monogamous commitment to our profession," she heard the words from the conference in her head, that's where all this had started. She had dared to play the mistress, to come between Harry and his work, his precious profession and look where it had got her. And it had all been so promising…

She remembered the half smile on Harry's face. She'd searched his out from all the conference attendees after her demonstration. It was hard to see through the protective screen and the blood spattered safety glasses but she'd spotted him and removed the glasses to get a better look. With the smile and affirming nod he had given her, she knew that she had finally been accepted onto the Lyell Centre team as an equal. It had taken two years. Two years of being submissive, excluding the desk stealing of course, two years of doing the jobs that Harry or Leo didn't fancy, two years of long days and the occasional all-nighter but she had done it.

And then within hours of being accepted as Harry's equal professionally she found herself on the receiving end of Harry Cunningham's lips in a country pub sat by a roaring fire. For the first time Nikki realised with a jolt that not only had he accepted her as an equal professionally, he had also for the first time recognised her as a woman personally and in nervousness and surprise she found herself biting her lip and fiddling with her hair like a teenager.

But now the job, the profession in the role of the jealous wife mocked all those thoughts of something more that Nikki had entertained in the few hours between the night out at the pub, the dinner offer and Penny's appearance in the mortuary. His later actions made it clear where his priorities lay and it wasn't with Nikki, the minute he had flexed his wings to break free from its grip by going on one date the whole world it seemed had come crashing down around them.

Nikki had naively believed that her new status on the team would have improved the atmosphere at work; working together now instead of her always having something to prove. But it seemed that Harry's interpretation of the new status quo was to throw out any of the social niceties afforded a new member of staff. No scrap that she thought, he'd just thrown out all social niceties, he'd yelled at her, questioned her work, shaken her and shut her out of his investigation.

"Can you do me a favour?" At least he'd asked kindly that first time, he'd even told her where the sports shop was.

"Then do it as a favour!" The words still rang in her ears, her arms burning under his rough touch.

Why was she still sat there asking herself these questions, she wondered? What had she to gain? He was the one who had given her the glimpse of another life, not the lonely spinster pathologist with the rusty scalpel that she had described. He could throw his life away, commit to the job but she had always worked to get the most out of life and she would show him that she could do it.

But first she had to be the one to make the third breakthrough of the case. Harry was no doubt off chasing phantoms and hunches but she knew exactly where to look, there was no great hurry.

"Who else would have motive for killing Simon?" it had been the last question Ambrose had asked before Wheaton had called a conference with his lawyer. She knew; Anne Wheaton. Another jealous wife exacting her revenge on the one who posed a threat to her monogamy.


	3. Objectivitiy

**Chapter Three**

**Objectivity**

Her boots were in the cupboard in the office. She could easily have taken them to the locker room to change: the jacket, the belt, the see through top, the adjustments to her hair and make-up. They could all have been done more simply and easily in private but Harry's demand that she recheck her assessment of Penny's cervix had not been done in private. That had been shouted across the lab accompanied by a vigorous shake. The revelations that Penny's child could have been his, that had not been done in private either and so she made a meal of bending down, wiggling her foot inside and zipping up the boots tantalisingly slowly, right in front of his face.

They were good boots too; she'd bought them a while ago but rarely took the opportunity to wear them now. Shiny patent black leather, spike heel, zips up to the knee. They were perfect. She rotated her ankle joint slowly admiring the way the light reflected in the leather.

She would not be dictated to by her profession. She would choose. She would not be another dead person talking about dead people to borrow a phrase from Harry. She was alive and she was going out to have a good time.

"Where are you off to?" She'd got his attention then, she smiled to herself. He'd never really described Penny, 'quite wild, quite glamourous,' was as much as she'd got. She'd said the bit about Penny being the rich heiress. Did it look like she was up for a 'wild' night? Did she look glamorous? Leo's 'no contest,' played through her mind, but surely that was because Penny was lying cold and stiff in a mortuary drawer, the competition wasn't fierce.

"Friend's birthday party." Nikki replied giving Harry a quick smile. She wasn't going to admit that the friend had been surprised by Nikki's sudden contact again after eighteen months of silence. 'You can't have a life and be successful,' Harry had summarised for Leo. Well she would. She would not become bitter and twisted, she would change the rules, make a different path to another life, where she would be successful and have a life and she'd make sure Harry watched her do it. She wasn't going to wait until the only man left was a loner with a fetish for shrivelled produce.

But is this what she wanted? She tried to catch her reflection in the window. It had been a long time since she'd been out like this. She had trouble recognising herself but she could feel Harry's eyes boring into her back and hear his breathing shallow and rapid.

She had cast herself in the role of 'boringly diligent and off-puttingly committed to her work,' it was not the person who looked back at her now. If this case had shown her anything it was that people did not always fulfil the roles ordained for them.

The son or the lover?

The cheated husband?

The mother?

The stepfather?

The abuser?

The abused?

The boyfriend and? What had Harry been? He and Anne had been the ones cheated on!

Edward had blamed Harry for Penny's overdose but Harry hadn't even known. He'd said he'd tried to see her. He'd been rejected by her in Harry's version of events and what of Penny herself? Had she known that baby was as likely to be Max's as it was Harry's when she confronted Harry about it? If she hadn't wanted an abortion, was she really expecting Harry to give up all he had dreamed of at the age of 18 to raise a child with her, one that she couldn't be certain was even his? How could she have asked that of him? Nikki wondered if Harry had thought this far yet. His perspicacity was usually lightning quick but his emotions had been fogging his clarity throughout the week. She'd keep that to herself, she'd imparted enough bad news to him this week and after the initial pleasure the aftertaste was bitter.

Simon wasn't even his anyway.

She thought she was glad.

Nikki flicked her hair back across her shoulders.

"Does this suit me?" She asked Harry's reflection in the window. She had been watching him watching her and couldn't resist the temptation to turn round and see first-hand the effect her little stunt had had.

"Yes it does," he nodded. She picked up her bag and turned towards the door, the image of Harry's green eyes burning into her back. She could do this, she told herself. She could walk away.

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**I've always loved this scene and wondered what exactly is going through Harry's mind as he watches her, so I enjoyed playing with it here. There is a subtle undercurrent bubbling though, a few clues if anyone is up for guessing. Maybe it's just my twisted psyche though. I'd love to hear what you think.**


	4. Where Are You Going?

**Chapter Four**

**Where Are You Going?**

She stopped to press the keypad to release the door and suddenly became aware of how much they had done together that week despite their differences. She thought of all the other times they had walked through this door together.

"I'm going out for dinner later, do you want to come?"

"You don't have to come?"

"What do you mean, I want to come?"

"I'm off to the inquest, you going to come?"

"I don't know…"

"I'm going to find out."

"Shall I come with you?"

"Ambrose is going to interview Max Wheaton. Do you want to come along?"

"Shall we go?"

"I've got to go."

"Where are you going?"

"Friend's birthday party," she mumbled to herself. She paused; her fingers hesitated over the door release button. She edged back a couple of steps and looked back over her shoulder. Harry was still staring at the spot she had just left. She couldn't remember a time when so many emotions had been tossed around in such a short space of time. It was like plunging 10,000 feet in a matter of seconds. It was exhausting, humbling, terrifying but it was living.

She should walk away.

However there was one thing she had got wrong this week and it clawed at her conscience and muted her triumph. She had rejoiced briefly at having passed the rite of passage that finally made her a full member of the Lyell team, only to discover that the much longed for event just caused pain. But things had changed this week, the shouting, the revelations about his past, all those Harry had initiated. He had gone to her, he had needed her, she was his trusted and only source of the truth and he had let her comfort him. For all his apparent dominance she was the one who had been in control, the one ultimately with the power, her status had risen. Was that what he had been staring at? Some new found admiration of her courage? Was that all he had been staring at?

It was almost as puzzling as that kiss he had given her and then brushed off. She was sure she recognised the look he had given her as she dressed in front of him; admiration yes. But there was more, something that softened his face, and relaxed his jaw for the first time in days and that made his eyes smoulder. That was more than just admiration that was desire and want and need and he had never looked at her like that before and she could still feel her body humming its response to his intense gaze.

If she did walk away what 'other life' was she trying to find at this party? A bit of booze to anaesthetise herself to life's disappointments? A man to go home with to prove she still had it, that she wasn't a prune? That wasn't real life; that was revenge and her work this week had clearly shown her that revenge was never satisfying. 'Externally the heart appears normal,' that had been her summary as she'd held Penny Harris's heart in her hand. Penny Harris's life had been anything but normal. Nikki didn't want to live a boring normal life anymore. What was the point?

But was she prepared to expose her heart to further pain to achieve the life she wanted?

The last few days may not have been what she had anticipated when Harry Cunningham kissed her and then asked her out on a date but she had felt alive. She looked back down at the button and back up to Harry again.

"Do you want to come with me? I mean you don't have to?" she said quietly, borrowing another of his phrases.

"Yes I would." Harry replied with the same certainty as he had pronounced on her appearance earlier. He grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and joined her at the door.

"Nikki, I'm sorry about…"

"Don't be," she interrupted. "I told you sometimes you need to be angry to see things how they really are."

"And how are they?" Harry asked.

"Not as they first seem." Nikki replied.

"What?"

"You need to look beyond the external appearance."

Harry nodded, he had no idea what she was talking about but she had freed him from his desk and for that he was grateful.

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**I thought that as this was much more of a blank slate, I'd play with their relationship a bit more than normal, there are some subtle clues. I wonder if any of you are with me? Thanks so much for all of you who take the time to review. You're brilliant.**


	5. A Good Sense Of Smell

**Chapter Five**

**A Good Sense of Smell**

"Nikki! Great to see you! It's been…"

"A while!" Nikki supplied, and smiled at her friend Claire in her party hat, low cut top and strappy sandals, she felt Harry smirk behind her.

"Come on in!" Claire exclaimed leaning forward, revealing even more of her cleavage.

"You look good..." Nikki began.

"I know, I had them done. A thirtieth birthday present to myself. Aren't they great?" She jiggled her boobs and gave Harry a look.

"Lovely…" but Nikki was interrupted again.

"And look, you brought me a present!" Claire continued as her eyes raked up and down Harry's body and then flicked back up to Nikki.

"You did bring me a present didn't you?" she asked her eyes darting between the two of them, questioning the availability of the man standing next to Nikki.

Nikki held out a bottle of champagne. "Happy Birthday!"

"Oh," said Claire without disguising her disappointment. "Thanks for the champagne."

Harry looked around, the party was not that different to the student party he'd gate crashed only a day or so before. Only that time he'd bought his way in with a couple of bottles of £2.99 supermarket red not some overpriced champagne. He sniffed at the punch and pulled a face, grabbed himself a bottle of beer and poured Nikki a glass of wine.

"Why did you decide to come?" Nikki asked him as they found a quieter space in the corner of the lounge.

"What do you want me to say?" Harry asked catching sight of Claire's curvaceous profile behind Nikki's head.

"The truth?" Nikki suggested.

Harry rubbed his face with his hand, there was a lot of 'truth' that he'd omitted from his version of the events surrounding Anne's arrest. Most of which he wasn't proud of. He'd forgotten how cold Anne was. Yes he had gone to bed with her; he'd gone to the house all those years ago to beg to be allowed to see Penny again after they had split.

'I'll do anything just to see her again,' he'd said.

'Really?' had come the reply, but Anne had never stuck to her end of the bargain. She'd only ever thought of her own agenda.

"It's just that while you've been out on your field trips, I've been stuck at the office with Leo breathing down my neck and checking up on me and you. He's been following me around with that look."

"Which one?"

"The 'I know but I'm not telling,' one."

"You think he thinks there's something going on between us? What did he say?" Harry asked, the chaos of the last week finally retreating as he drank his beer.

"One of the more memorable ones was 'You're both adults, technically at least.'"

"I'm sorry Nikki, I didn't mean for it to get so bad."

"I'm sorry too. She was beautiful. Do you think you could have been happy if you'd stayed together?"

"I wouldn't be where I am today." Harry replied.

"No, you wouldn't."

"But?"

"How could I know? I told Anne that 'In another life; I'd have tried to love her better,' but would it have been enough?"

They sat in silence and people watched. There was less snogging at this party, Harry decided, but the dancing was almost as bad. He spotted Claire again across the room and she gave him a wave, the party hat still teetering on top of her head as she danced.

"So why did you come?"

"Because… Because. Because I needed to be out of the office. Because I feel bad about sabotaging dinner the other night, to apologise for my rudeness, for my…my…" He couldn't even bring himself to go down the list it was so bad. He threw his hands through his hair, "You did not deserve any of it. I'm sorry."

"It's been a difficult week." Nikki said; she ran her finger along the top of her wine glass as she felt her heart sink.

"And because…" Harry continued. "And because for once I have a chance. A chance to get it right and I think if I don't get this right now then I may never get this chance again."

"A chance for what?"

"A chance to be normal."

"Eh?"

"A chance to have a normal life."

"Harry, how on earth do you think you can live a normal life? You cut up corpses for a living!" Nikki laughed.

"That's not what I mean. All this with Penny, it made me think. I've never really thought seriously about having children, not been in a position to but with Simon… I really thought…"

"It's alright Harry, I understand." She put down her drink and folded her arms, protecting her heart from any more hurt."

"It's more than just that," Harry continued and looked up at her profile rather than across the room.

"I know I'm not really going to have a normal life but coming out with you tonight, it's like a second chance."

She turned to face him and wordlessly asked him to continue.

"A chance to be with you, before you find out any more about me and run screaming to the hills and as far away from me as you can get. Nikki, I have been vile to you this week and yet you still asked me out. I am not going to let this chance go. I don't want to get stuck in the past anymore. I don't want to put the dead before the living and I don't want to let my work always get in the way of my life."

"So you don't fancy a 'monogamous commitment to your profession'," Nikki asked and tugged at the top of her boots.

"No, I don't. But work will get in the way. It will destroy any relationship with someone who doesn't understand all the job entails, what it's like. What it does to your head." Harry explained.

Nikki tipped her head to one side and searched his eyes for what he was actually trying to say but didn't reply.

"You'd understand," Harry suggested.

She dropped her gaze. Just being the one who was there, who could put up with his temper and understood the job; that wasn't really the stuff of a girl's dreams.

"Nikki, I really want to make this work with you. I… want… I erm," Harry gave up and looked at her imploringly hoping that all he hadn't said was clear to her. "I just want…" He gave up again.

Nikki unfolded her arms and crossed her legs but didn't help him.

"Leo already thinks there's something going on!" he spluttered. "I… You're…"

"Being liked?" Nikki suggested and grinned at him, she couldn't stand his misery and inarticulacy any longer. She stretched out her top leg, the light caught in the patent leather creating diamonds of light. She heard Harry take in a loud breath.

"The boots did it for you?" she asked eyebrow raised.

"Not just the boots," Harry replied his insides twitching with the memory.

She gave him a half smile.

"Are you disappointed?" Harry asked.

She shook her head and studied his reaction.

"Why?" she asked slowly.

"I mean I'm sorry my fetish isn't for dried produce."

She tipped her head to one side and grinned, it was another Harry Cunningham one liner to divert the conversation from anything serious, she'd thought they were past all that. But then through the dimness of the mood lighting she noticed the burning look in his eyes. The one she'd seen earlier when she'd dressed in front of him.

"Harry!" she exclaimed and rotated her ankle again. "The boots?" She paused. "Really?"

Harry shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

She stroked her hand down the length of the leather and watched him swallow, his eyes wide. He nodded.

"You ready to go? Nikki asked, looking round at a room of people she hardly recognised and had no interest in talking to.

"Yes, I am." Harry replied.

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**And I know it comes later, but watched 'Peripheral Vision,' recently and EVERY pair of shoes/boots/footwear Nikki wears gets screen time to themselves. It's also the episode where she pulls the noose she is demonstrating around H's neck and declares, "Secretly I think you like it." I rest my case. Feel free to disagree, you know where the button is!**


	6. What a Girl Dreams Of

**Sorry for abandoning you all for so long… many apologies, but here's the end now. Hope you like it.**

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**Chapter Six**

**What a Girl Dreams Of **

Harry took Nikki's glass and offered to return it to the kitchen, it wasn't merely an altruistic instinct to help tidy up but having had a good sniff of the punch earlier, he decided that a good swig of that would be just what he needed to give himself a boost for what he now knew he had to do. He scooped out a half glass full into Nikki's empty one and chugged some back. The fiery liquid made his eyes sting. He wasn't sure what was worse the alcohol hit or the sugar buzz. He tipped the rest down the sink, left the glass on the side and looked vainly round the floor for a recycling box or bin for his beer bottle.

"What are you doing down there?" said a giggly voice.

Harry looked up into Claire's voluminous cleavage and rapidly stood to his full height and adjusted his eye line. Her party hat had now slipped down over the side of her head. It provided a useful focal point.

"Ah, just the person I was looking for!" she slurred and made a grab for Harry's neck and pulled him towards her face. Harry tipped his head to the side and kissed her cheek.

"Happy Birthday Claire," Harry said catching sight of Nikki out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh," moaned Claire.

"It's been good to see you again, Claire, I'm sorry but we have to go." Nikki said hastily. She grabbed Harry's hand and ran to the front door. They laughed as they ran down the path and then suddenly felt shy at the realisation that they were still hand in hand. The evening had turned cool but Nikki felt anything but cold. She looked at their intertwined hands and then up to Harry's face. He was looking at her with the same intent expression he'd had as he'd watched her get ready for the party. She could feel her face burning despite the chill breeze.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he said his voice serious and low, relieved that finally the words had come. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"I don't have DD boobs." Nikki pointed out.

Harry made a scoffing laugh and held onto her forearms to hold her at arm's length and ran his eyes up and down her body. She saw his Adam's apple bob.

"Nothing about you is fake," he explained. He ran a finger down her hair line and along her jaw and Nikki felt herself shudder.

"I do colour my hair." She gasped out; her head leaned into his touch seemingly of its own volition.

"You are perfect," he said as his hand gently brushed her cheek. She was aware that her body had started to tremble, and she felt that familiar suffocating struggle for oxygen as she'd done in the observation room of the police station just days before. But this time she knew what was coming. An explosion or implosion, an equal and opposite reaction that would shatter all the tension of the previous week, plunge them over the edge and change everything they thought they ever knew. However this time she was looking forward to it.

"Harry…" she mumbled, biting her lip instead of her fingers and looking into his eyes, they were so dark now there was little green to be seen.

"I want you," Harry half mumbled half growled as he leaned in to her. She could feel his hot breath burning the skin of her neck.

"Harry…" she sighed, and tried to move her head to make the connection with the lips that every part of her being ached for.

"This a bit more like what a girl dreams of when she's growing up?" Harry asked his eyes boring into hers.

"Mm hmm." She answered and pressed her lips to his. She ran her hand under his jacket, and felt the strength and solidity of his back. She'd never been frightened of him, not even when he yelled at her, she just felt scared that she hadn't known what was going on. What had been on his mind? Here in his arms she felt connected to the very core of what made Harry, Harry. And for once she was in with a chance of something good; someone good; Harry wasn't faultless, she wasn't going to pretend he was. But for once she knew he was worth the risk.

His own arms tightened around her waist, pulling her even closer towards him. Her stomach did its own 10,000 feet emergency dive and she clung to Harry and felt his arms hold her up and for once she relished the feeling of being possessed by another. Because this was Harry, and she'd waited two years for this. Two years in which a student crush had turned to admiration, that had turned to friendship that in turn had turned to partnership and now…

"Come home with me," he murmured interrupting her thoughts.


	7. In Another Life

**Chapter Seven**

**In Another Life**

"Come home with me, now," he repeated in between kisses. "I promise I won't shut you out again, I won't not talk to you; if it scares you. I never want to scare you Nikki."

"It's alright Harry, it's who we are, it's what we do, the job will always be there but promise me we will always come first."

"I promise."

"Shall we go?"

She gripped tightly to his arm as they half stumbled, half ran down the street towards Nikki's car. There was no way of escaping it, the job they did made demands on them, unfair at times and too often all-consuming but now they had each other. It wasn't the jealous wife making room for the mistress nor was it some tawdry threesome. It was Harry and Nikki and they would have a life, a life together and still have successful careers. Three was a good number Nikki decided, the great Dr Havillard hadn't mentioned it, but her subconscious fished for a proverb she thought she knew.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

But soon all other thoughts vanished as they reached her car and before she'd even had a chance to beep it open, Harry had squashed her against it, his body pressed against hers his desire pressing into her thigh and his lips searching for hers again.

He broke away suddenly.

"What's the matter?" Nikki asked.

Harry shook his head. "I was just thinking, what if you hadn't asked me?"

"Asked you what?" the warm fluid feeling that had been pooling at the base of her stomach, evaporated and prickled with fear instead.

"What would we have done?"

"What do you mean Harry? What are you worrying about?"

"If you hadn't asked me to join you at the party tonight. If I'd just been left there at the desk, watching you walk away from me?"

"What does it matter, we're here now. Together." Nikki added.

Harry shivered, he saw another life stretch before him; two colleagues united against the worst of man's inhumanity, their lives punctuated by distant intimacy, redemptive embraces and aching loneliness. He saw himself sitting alone on a sofa a decade into the future wondering why he had let his chance to be a father just pass him by. He could imagine them at another dreadful party, still together but miles apart. He saw their interdependency and commitment to their profession cripple their social lives and he felt the stab of the agony that their separations and disagreements caused them. They might be successful but as much as he despised Dr Havillard's pronouncements that was not having a life.

"I don't want that life," he muttered.

"Harry!" scoffed Nikki. "Shut up!"

"I want this one, with you, together, us…" he rambled.

"Shh, Harry."

"Just…. Just… just this. Just you," he said his voice still betraying the fear of his vision. "Thank you for getting me away from the Lyell, for asking me out tonight for…"

"It's nothing Harry, shut up about it. Ok?"

But the other life filled him with dread and he knew this was his only escape route, his one chance and after all the obfuscation of the week's events, finally he was able to see clearly again and he couldn't let it go.

"Thank you for inviting me, for putting up with me, for…"

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut up!" Nikki laughed triumphantly, twined her fingers around his neck and kissed him.

"Are you done?" she asked moments later as she brushed her cheek against his, feeling the rough stubble of his chin against her cheek.

"Kissing you or freaking out?" Harry replied.

"I'm hoping the latter."

"I don't think I'll ever be done kissing you." Harry smiled.

"Good" she smiled. "Come on, let's get out of here. You ok to drive?" She held out the keys towards him.

"Just promise me one thing?" he asked.

"What?" Nikki asked a more serious note affecting her voice.

"You leave the boots on and alone in the car."

She looked up at him quizzically but his next words confirmed everything she had suspected earlier as she'd dressed in front of him.

"You don't touch the zip, you don't fiddle with them, the boots stay on your feet and on the floor," he commanded.

"Just in the car?" she pouted not failing to notice the slight tremor in his voice.

He held the door open for her. "Get in, quick!" he ordered.

She climbed into the passenger seat of her car, rested her head back and smiled. She was feeling slightly drunk, but it wasn't the one glass of wine from the party. It was more like the heady feeling of an important victory.

She thought back to the party, she'd not missed any of the 'friends' there. She'd not seen most of them since her quest for acceptance at the Lyell Centre began two years ago. She'd not even recognised many of them. She decided she didn't miss any of that old life she had given up.

Now she could finally cash in the two years of hard graft for another life. All that submissiveness had finally earned her a reward far greater and that was what had made her light headed. She had a great job and she loved it. She had a decent boss who looked out for her personally and professionally. And now she had Harry, and she really did have Harry.

She toyed with the idea of adjusting her boots but she could sense Harry's concentration even with her eyes closed; he was blocking out everything in order to drive them safely home as quickly as possible. He might be the one in the driving seat, he might pretend to be the dominant one but she was certain she was really the one at the controls; she smiled a broad smile and crossed her legs.

"I warned you," Harry growled and jerked the wheel to pull the car back into his lane. He studied the road intently and refused to let his gaze wander.

Nikki laughed, her deep throated, full bodied laugh. That other life was finally over. This, she thought would be the start of something good. She was successful and she had got herself a life and she thought with another smile it would be anything but 'normal.'

* * *

**Sorry this last bit took so long to tweak. Be kind and tell me what you think. It was fun to consider a H&N relationship free from all the baggage of the later chapters but maybe you don't see them the same way. I'd love to know.**

**Thanks to tigpop, Kiwiswfan, yellowshiningstars, hushedgreylily and angst fan for their reviews and support. You make it all worthwhile.**

**"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Is from the bible Ecclesiastes 4:12**


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